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Family & Relationships Oh, Fun - My Son's New Favorite Hobby Is Telling Total Strangers My Secrets

21:25  13 march  2018
21:25  13 march  2018 Source:

The Real Difference Between Direct and Non-Stop Flights

  The Real Difference Between Direct and Non-Stop Flights Whether you’re a first-time flier or experienced jet-setter, you can probably imagine there are plenty of secrets your airline isn’t telling you. The questions start from the minute you book a flight, too. What’s the deal with soaring airfares? When is the cheapest time to book? And why, oh why, does your legroom keep shrinking? 2 Savings Accounts Pay 10x What Your Bank Pays Learn More Sponsored by MyFinance Aviation annoyances aside, it’s likely you don’t think twice about one major detail: the number of stops the aircraft will make.

When Kids Start Oversharing© Pexels/Pixabay When Kids Start Oversharing

One day at preschool drop off, when my son's teacher asked him how he was doing, his typical "I'm fine" response was replaced with, "My mom took a shower." Disregarding the fact that his answer had no correlation to the question, all I could think of was what his response would've been if I hadn't bathed that morning, and most importantly, how do I distract this kid before he spills some real unpleasantries to both acquaintances and total strangers?

That slightly-awkward-but-not-yet-totally-embarrassing moment was my first experience with my child's recent obsession with informing the unassuming public about my personal business, but it certainly wasn't the last. Since then, it's been one cringe-worthy experience after another. The other day while checking out at the grocery store, my son thought it was the perfect moment to tell the cashier that his mommy ate four cupcakes for breakfast. Was it true? Yes, but I don't want her (or anyone) to know that. And in my defense, they were those mini cupcakes where each one is like a single bite. So four to six individual ones equal one regular size cupcake, right? OK, great. Glad we agree. Anyway . . .

The 9 worst dining habits of all time, ranked

  The 9 worst dining habits of all time, ranked Time and again we find ourselves encountering distasteful—and downright appalling—dining taboos. The worst offenders are as follows:1. Double-dippingWhether you're 3 or 93—this is by far the most vile of communal eating wrongs. What makes you think people want your saliva in their dip? This also goes for chefs putting the spoon back in the pot after a taste.2. Touching all of the food.I once watched a 6-year-old touch every piece of cake on a three-tiered serving tray. Perhaps he was counting them? Yay for math, boo for your grimy mitts on the dessert.

My son has officially entered this dreaded phase, or what I like to call the "telling-my-parents'-business-to-anyone-that'll-listen" phase. No place is safe from his compulsion to spill his guts about mommy and daddy's behaviors. This past Sunday, he decided church was the perfect place to yell to the entire congregation that mommy's boobies have "owies." You may be wondering why he would say such a thing. Well, because breastfeeding is a cruel, painful bitch, and he barged into my bathroom while I was putting the largest amount of lanolin on my ladies. After asking what I was doing, I gave him a simple toddler explanation, which he regurgitated to everyone who decided to join us in some wholesome worship.

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My son, the adorable ticking time bomb, is locked and loaded, ready to nark on me at a moment's notice - not that I'm doing anything bad or trying to hide from anyone, but c'mon, kid! Stop telling dad how many Amazon packages were delivered today, and please spare him the details about how mommy backed the car into the garbage cans (again). Oh, and if you could refrain from explaining to him on repeat what we got him for his birthday, that'd be great.

It's bad enough I have to watch what I say because this child has the freakish ability to memorize a word or phrase after only hearing it one time. I had to alter all my favorite swear words, and even that didn't help. Do you know what it sounds like when a toddler says "shoot?" It sounds exactly like "sh*t," ladies and gentlemen. Even with my best efforts in eliminating any existence of a swear word from my child's vernacular, my child walks around sounding like a tiny sailor.

So, what's a mom to do? Honestly, I don't even know. I'm hoping at some point - hopefully soon - my life won't seem so interesting, and he'll turn his attention elsewhere. Better yet, maybe he'll align his sights on dear ol' dad for a change. I'm sure stories about dad letting one rip at the grocery store only to blame it on the baby are far more entertaining than mom applying lanolin to her tore up nipples any day. Until this change happens and someone else becomes a target, I'll just be over here hiding out in the pantry stuffing my face with cupcakes - the tiny ones, of course.

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The Secret Way Disney World Cast Members Get Around the Park .
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